“Baby, you look like you are about to cry,” Sister Marva said to me when she glanced over to see why I hadn’t commented on her comments regarding church folks.
I blinked away a tear and said, “I am.”
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“Come over here, baby. What have those people at church done to you?”
“It’s not them, it’s me. It’s what I’m doing to myself.”
“Child, come here and hug me and let it out.”
I obeyed and somehow my attempt to go minister to the “sick and shut-in” became my rescue by the “sick and shut-in.”
Grace…
After about two minutes of being wrapped in a mother’s love she asked me if I was okay.
“Yes, ma’am. I’m sorry.”
“No, you don’t have anything to worry about. Now go sit down. You just look like you have a lot on you. I saw it on your… DIDN’T I TELL YOU TO SIT DOWN? Honey, this dog is so hard headed. I saw it on your face.”
Sis Marva studied my face. “You know,” she began, “we’ve got to learn to let go of these things and let God do His job. I tell Him that all the time. ‘Lord, I can’t do this. You gotta do it. You said You are my daddy, my husband so I’m expecting You to be that.’”
I laughed: “I told God that this morning.”
“You did?”
“Yes, ma’am. I was up at 3 am telling Him that I’m tired of it. I’m tired of this thing. And all I got back from Him was, My grace is sufficient.”
“It is, baby. Don’t you believe that?”
“NO,” I choked out. “I don’t want to hear that.”
She sat up in bed. I looked at her, eyes glistening. She began telling me a testimony of a rough time in her life when she was begging God to “take away” a particular situation in her life. I listened intently. Her recollection of the anguish filled prayers struck a nerve in me. But she didn’t just leave it at her experience. After she summed up a few of the lessons she learned during that time, she admonished me that when I was really “sick and tired” that I would let God have His way and that would be it.
“His grace is sufficient,” she said. “It’s sufficient enough to give you the victory over whatever sin you believe is overwhelming you.” She then leaned over and grabbed her Bible.
“Help me, Holy Spirit,” she whispered as she opened it. “Let’s read a little bit, baby. Turn to John 14 because I believe we need Jesus to talk to us for a little while.” And that’s exactly what He did.
Word of God Speak
So, after praying, I began reading aloud: “Let not your heart be troubled…”
“Thank You, Jesus. See, baby, He’s already talking to you. You came in here with a troubled heart and He’s telling you you don’t need that. Go on.”
“You believe in God,” I continued, “believe also in Me.”
“Do you believe in God?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“I know you do, baby. Go on.”
And so it went for three chapters; me reading and she stopping me whenever she felt a need to interject. The verse though that really got me; the one that made me double over and ask forgiveness for being a brute and thank Him for His mercy was verse 13:
And whatever you ask in My name, that I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son. (NKJV)
I had to stop reading to gain my composure. Right there in the Bible God was telling me that He’s got my back. For His glory I won’t be left destitute. For His glory I won’t be a fumbling, bumbling sinner for all my days. Then Jesus went in for the kill as I read verse 18:
“I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you.”
Sister Marva looked over at my tear soaked face. I turned and looked out the window and then back at her.
“I know you hear Him and believe Him, don’t you?” she asked.
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“Yes, ma’am,” I whispered.
“See, baby, His grace is sufficient for whatever you’re going through over there. Keep reading.”
Wisdom of the Ages
When I left her house later that evening – strengthened, encouraged, loved – the majority of my praise was that we have the older generation still among us to share their life experiences no matter how rough, or how holy; their wisdom is immeasurable.
Could someone my age have given me the same lesson? Probably. I just don’t think it would have had the same seasoning, though.
Do you have someone in your “circle of trust” with time honored silver strands of wisdom?
Tear #53
LORD, please protect all of my friends that are pastors or moving toward that position. Keep them on my mind so that I will communicate with them and let them know that they are not friendless, that they do have at least one person that won’t judge them because they are “in the pulpit.” Give me the compassion I need to be like Mary, Martha and Lazarus so that my friends will feel comfortable and relaxed enough to trust their wearied souls in my care and that they can still feel that there is a soul to be ministered to.
No man is an island, Father, so encourage them to keep the lines of communication open, as well. Like most relationships, friendships are a two way street.
Please don’t allow Satan to press upon them feelings of worthlessness, inferiority or condemnation. When they sin remind them You are the Sin Eater. Remind them when they’re weak that Your strength is perfect. And definitely keep in the forefront of their minds that Your grace is sufficient for whatever they are dealing with.
Watch over Brandon Smith while he’s in Michigan and continue ordering his steps. Guide Moses Eli as he pastors his churches and prepare him to be a husband after Your heart. Speak to Ja’Son O’Rourke as he breaks Your word to the various congregations he travels to and let him know what path it is You want him to take. Bless Marcus Vassel while he’s overseas pastoring.
Wow, LORD, I just realized I don’t have any married pastor friends. Should You decide to bless them with a wife, let no man tear asunder. Fortify their hearts toward You so that they are able to give to their wives the emotional strength needed.
Fill my boys with Your spirit and hover over their congregations. Ignite the desire in their members to pray for them, too. And give them a strong circle of friends, even if it’s only a few.