After stuffing myself with lemon pepper rotisserie chicken and tortilla chips I decided to brave the cold, drizzling weather and take a walk in the park downtown. Grabbing my coat and a co-worker’s umbrella, I set out.
Once I was outside, I glanced the park. There was no one out. No One. It wasn’t even that cold actually. I stood on the landing and surveyed the sidewalk trying to decide how far I wanted to walk, and if I was actually going to do it.
Tiny Steps
I tapped my feet in the water pooling on the landing. “Why are you about to walk in the rain?” I asked myself. But deep inside I knew what it was.
Finally, strolling down the sidewalk I watched the ducks around the pond: some swam, some sat on the edge resting, others played in mud puddles along the sidewalk, while others ran around in circles happily chasing each other.
I admired them almost to the point of jealousy. They were chillin’ and content where they were, enjoying the weather, enjoying the comraderie, oblivious to anything but what was in front of them.
The rainy day never caused them to wonder about God’s provisions for them. Would there be enough fish in the water to eat?
And the fish were even more content. As I crossed the bridge I peeked over the side and watched them float in one spot, conserving their energy I guess since it was cold. They only moved when I startled them. I was amazed to realize they could see up that far.
And even though they were spooked, they didn’t go swimming off to another section of the pond. They didn’t jump out the water and decide to chill with the ducks for a safer place. Nope; they didn’t allow a scary situation to push them into something worse. They trusted the provision God made for them.
Still Small Voice
“What do You have for me, LORD,” I began to pray. “What do You want me to do? I just don’t want to make the wrong move.”
I stopped and stared across the pond at my office building draped in the sheer covering of drizzle. I sighed. A dark, thick cloud of dispair hovered in my department as we awaited news as to when job cuts were being made… again; and, who from our team of five was being cut. Thoughts of walking aimlessly downtown through the mist intrigued me.
“Maybe, I’m talking too much, Father. Have You already told me what I need to do? I know this, LORD, wherever I need to be to continue growing spiritually is where I want to be. I don’t want to be a castaway. Similarly, wherever I will be a blessing to people and bring glory to You is where I want to be. If that means staying where I am then that’s cool. Everyone keeps bringing up things to look out for with this other company. Why can’t You just tell me where You want me to be?”
And like a sweet whisper in the dark of my thoughts I heard, “Noah.”
More Than Miniscule
This was no mere glimmer of hope. The answer was a beacon on the rough waves of impending meltdown. God gave me the story of Noah in back in 2006 (along with the story of Joseph) as reassurance that He wanted me to take a full-time position with my company. He reminded me of this fact last Thursday night when I was heating up His ear with jumbled excitement.
As I walked up to the landing I smiled inside.
“You did answer me. I didn’t have to waste energy walking into a closed door. You want me here. This is the provision You’ve made for me and You’ll let me know when it’s time to leave.”
I looked at my reflection in the window.
“Dude, you need to walk more often.”