I hope you are enjoying the visit into GBT’s Season One archives. Some of these posts are…whoa. Some of the scenarios, some of the lessons, I had forgotten about. This post, in particular, deals with forgiveness and moving on. Well, more than that. It deals with God’s love in dealing with us regarding love and forgiveness. Read on and let me know your thoughts. Stay tailored.
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MONEY ISN’T MY ONLY DEBT (S:1)
School loans, credit cards, medical bills, and car loans aren’t the only debts that I have. And, up until my dad (and homeboy, DJ) royally pissed me off, I was only focused on those debts.
What God whispered to me as He embraced me after I realized that my dad is nearly incapable of showing me the affection and attention that I have longed for was this: “Forgive him. Honor him.”
Trust me. I am the first one to tell God, “You have lost Your mind. I’m not doing that.” Doesn’t always get the best response, yet I’m honest.
So, probably needless to say, I didn’t forgive my dad, nor DJ, and I definitely didn’t honor him…then.
Fast forward almost three weeks later, after a wonderful, spiritually cleansing, uplifting, awe inspiring, refreshing road trip with my cousin from California to Alabama (told you I was sojourning), and you will find me kneeling by my bed praying. What was I praying about, you may ask.
I prayed for a lot of things, because the trip helped thaw me out, wake me from my spiritual hibernation. That road trip in all its glory helped me realize one important thing: that God is bigger than you and me, and He has forgiven us of a lot more debt than just being buttholes.
“Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors,” is a line in the Lord’s prayer recited by many people, devout Christians and not, just for the sake of saying it. But that night, that line popped out of my mouth with a gagging force and I immediately had to put my cards on the table and say, “God, I’ve been a brute! I fold.”
All at once I began praying for my as-whole-dad, my used-to-be-roommate-cousin, my chester-the-molester-uncle, and my drunk-as-a-skunk-friend, DJ.
Why was I praying for those guys? Because they deserve the forgiveness that God has showered me with; the grace He’s drowned me in; the mercy that He provides for me everyday. Those guys deserve for me to love them enough to pray for their misgivings, their transgressions, their issues/problems, their sins, and whatever I feel that they have done wrong to me – their debts. They deserve a clean slate just like I do.
And with that done, I don’t know what now. Ha! I always think that every step with Christ, every lesson is some kind of heal all. Sometimes it isn’t. Sometimes it’s just about obedience. And let me tell you. There was something in that release by forgiving that has renewed me, like a seedling preparing to break through the ground.
I said that 2010 was going to be the year that Psalm 1 would come to fruition in my life; and I praise God for it.