“Wake up, boy! I know you’re trying to sleep in.”

“Hey, Grandma.”

“I figured if I was up then someone else needed to be up with me.”

I rolled onto my back . “Yeah, misery loves company,  huh, grandma?”  Grandma giggled like a school girl.  It was wonderful to wake up to her call that morning.

Beautiful Blooms

Last year was her Third Annual Summer Week Visit and I hadn’t spoken to her much since then.  The last time being late August and I was determined then to find out how she had stayed a Christian for over 70 years.

“What am I missing, Grandma?” I asked.  “You have it together. We come to you for advice and prayer.  You’re still hanging in there.”

She was quiet for a moment. “I wish I had it together,” she began, “But, I don’t.  It’s more God hanging on to me than me to Him, Ray-Ray.”

It was always humble answers like that that kept me asking questions.  For instance, the first year she came to visit me, we went walking because Grandma lives to walk.  I asked her about being Seventh-Day Adventist and why they are so screwed up in the head (that’s my humble opinion).  She gave me a lot but the one thing that stuck out was her statement: “When I was coming up, it was known that you go to the Sunday churches for the Holy Spirit, then you go to the Seventh-Day Adventist church to learn how to get to Heaven.”

That morning was no different.  She was just as honest and raw as ever: “Baby, I’m realizing that my mission field is my family.  I look around and I see so many of our family outside the ark of safety.  Some of them that used to be inside.  What am I doing for them?  That’s why I have been praying for your momma.  I told the pastor the other day that they need to get stepping with building our church.  I think if we had our church maybe your momma would start coming. At least that’s what I’m hoping and praying for.”

Over seventy years of being a Christian and she admitted that she’s just realizing that her mission field is her family!  I could hear that it was really troubling her.  I think, too, that she is feeling the closeness of her time.  She makes no qualms about it.

Grandma said, “I also told that preacher to hurry up with the church because where am I going to have my funeral.”

Bulbs & Seeds

I guess as she looks around at her brothers and sisters that have passed away and those that are slowly lying in the lap of Alzheihmer’s, she knows she better prepare.

“Your aunts and uncles asked me why I was at the funeral home making arrangements and buying my casket,” she said, “I told them because y’all ain’t gone know what I want so I better get it now.”

“You would think they’d be happy,” I said, “That’s less they’ll have to do.”

“I know,” she said, “Because I remember how I ran around stupid after your granddaddy died. Oh, it almost made me crazy.  I don’t want them to have to deal with that.”

And that’s just how she is.  She even commented about not caring what anyone thought of her.

She said, “Somebody told me one of your cousins was mad at me and didn’t like me anymore. I said, ‘she doesn’t take care of me.’ Ray-Ray, I don’t care.  I know it sounds bad and I told the Lord that I probably shouldn’t feel that way.  But I live to please Him not to please people.”

“Well, that’s good, because when you please God you begin to please others,” I interjected.

“Hmph,” she retorted. “I aim to please God.  I don’t care about pleasing these folks.”

The funny thing is, I know she does

Christmas up in da cube.  ”brushed nickel” push-pins for the tree, clear push-pins for the base, and colored clamp binders for the star and ornaments.  gotta add a little something to the grey drabness during the holidays, right?

Zen, stuffing his face with salad: What? You feeling flighty?

javan: Yeah.

Zen: That hasn’t happened for a couple years.

javan: No, it happens quite often.

Zen: Oh.

javan: I just fight it. I’ve wanted to leave here for a minute.

Zen, pressing phone closer to his ear: What made you stay?

javan: I didn’t want to run anymore. I wanted to be committed to something and face whatever issues and obstacles head on and still meet my goal.

Zen: Have you done that?

javan: Pretty much. (stretches out on carpet) Do you have a minute, Zen?

Zen, swallowing a mouthful of oatmeal pie: Yeah. I’m at work, though, so I may have to jump off.

javan: That’s cool.

Zen, intent: What’s up?

javan: Really, I don’t know what’s wrong with me. It’s more than being flighty. I feel… Have you ever been so supercharged sexually?

Zen: No.

javan: Well, you have a man, so I guess you wouldn’t. (searching) Since ole dude moved out, my world has been retarded.

Zen, reassuring: That’s not good.

javan: I know. It’s like I opened Pandora’s box when I had sex with him. It has whet my appetite for sex. I want it so badly.

As Javan continued to explain his newest dilemma he told himself the truth. The truth was that he wasn’t happy with his life. But how could he tell Zen that? Zen wasn’t Christian. What would Zen think of him – Mr. Christian – if Javan admitted he wasn’t happy?

How sick is this for a bedroom view? i feel automatically relaxed, calmed.  and the hardwood floor. yes.

my yoga routine doesn’t consist of ANY poses like this. can a brother find out where to get the hands and feet pads? check out yogadudes for more photos of dudes doing yoga.

watching the sunrise as I work on GBT this morning. Sabbat Shalom!