What shall I do?  What step should I take?  What move should I make?  Oh, Lord, what should I do?  I’m going to wait for an answer from You.  I have nothing to lose.  Oh, Lord, I’m going to wait.  I know You’ll come through, Lord, with a blessing for me.  Please, Lord, set my soul free.  I know You’ll come through.  For I can’t live without your help; I am weak all by myself.  Lord, please, give me the strength that I need, so I can possess eternal peace.*

So many scriptures talk about the value of waiting on You, Father, whether it was for You to rise up in a person’s stead or simply for You to give someone direction or spiritual blessing.   I am going to wait on You as well, Lord, because right now I don’t know which step to make in a number of situations.

I don’t trust myself anymore.  Which in hindsight, Father, is exactly where I should be.  I think of Psalm 118:8

It is better to trust and take refuge in the Lord than to put confidence in man. (AMP)

I’m a man, right, Father?  I shouldn’t put confidence in myself.  Savior, like a shepherd, lead me.  I know You’ll come through.  Anoint my eyes with eye salve so I can see clearly.  Douse my ears with some type of solution so that I can hear clearly.  Here’s my heart, Lord, take and seal it; seal it for Your courts above.

Ultimately, Lord, every choice that I make it is either fitting me for heaven or not.  It’s either bringing us closer or not.  Continue teaching me.  Precious Lord, take my hand.  Lead me on…

*Tramaine Hawkins – What Shall I Do?

Long time, no hear right?  I know.  How are things going in your corner of the globe?  How’s the fam? I’m sure you’re surprised to hear from me this way, with writing being an almost forgotten art, huh?  You know I love me some you.

That’s really what prompted me to write tonight.  As I was praying earlier today you came across my mind and I just felt impressed to reach out to you.  I’ve been on one of my super critical tangents (you know how I can get) and I finally had to stop and take inventory.  Being of a predominantly melancholy personality it isn’t a hard thing for me to sit and analyze.  What I got from the reflection was that, yes, there is a problem in the world; yes, there is a problem in religion; yes, there is a problem in me.

I’m so tired.  I am almost physically tired, drained from running from God and running my mouth to cover up what I’m afraid for you to see in me.  God already knows, but there are things inside of me that would make you distance yourself from me, and because of that I put up a wall for you.  It’s almost like what Jabez was praying for – asking God to enlarge his territory, build up his borders so that sin wouldn’t get to him and that the sin in him wouldn’t get to others, so he wouldn’t hurt others.

I’m tired of hurting you.  Yes, I have.  I’ve been studying the life of Christ and really picking apart how He handled things, people, friends, leadership, spirituality, Himself.  He wouldn’t treat you as a friend the way I’ve treated you.  I know.  It’s not big things, but still the same, I haven’t been a good friend to you.  I haven’t given you me.  I haven’t given you what you deserve from me and that’s a glimpse of Jesus every time we are in communion.  That’s what I notice about Jesus.  When He was with His friends He gave them a glimpse of heaven because He believed that was important for them to see.

Being the same guy isn’t an option for me anymore.  I want to be meek and lowly in heart, too.  I want you to enjoy being around me because the love that emotes from me is undeniable.  You should feel drawn to me because I am offering you something more than cunning humor, blunt counsel, and a charming personality.  Will you love Jesus more after we’ve gone our separate ways?  That’s what Vonda Beerman asks in one of her songs.

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I’m not talking about being all preachy and nun-ish.  That’s not how Jesus rolled either.  He enjoyed the company of his friends as I enjoy yours.  He just gave His friends more than just Himself, and I am barely giving you myself.  I don’t want to talk so much.  I want to listen to you.  I want to hear you.  I want to see your soul and help you navigate the path of life as long as we’re together.  God can teach me to be better.  He can show me how to be better.  He can help me be better.

Haven’t you been wanting someone to live the life that is spoken of so much?  Haven’t you wanted to see someone pick up their cross and follow Christ?  I have.  I have wanted to be that someone.

I thanked God for you today because I know we are friends because of Him.  Thank you for finding me worth investing time in.  Thank you for thinking of me as a treasure.  Now follow me as I follow Christ, not merely in word, but in action.  It’s going to be tough because you know I’m not gentle, or patient, or optimistic, or peaceful, or meek, or humble, or prone to listen, or…okay we’re not going to sit hear and just point out what I’m not!

All I’m saying is that I want to be an example of holiness, an example of what it’s really like to serve the Almighty One with whole-hearted obedience.  I would rather fail working toward that goal than being mediocre as I have been.  I would rather die unloading a massive amount of love and joy and peace and grace on you than being the whack-ass friend that I have been.  I would like to be a marked contrast of the foolishness we see going on in the world of religion.

Just know that without you and God, Huntsville wouldn’t be enough, it wouldn’t even be bearable.  I pray all is well and that this letter finds you in perfect peace.  Until I write again…

Lovingly yours

Image by Alasdair Thompson via Flickr

Okay, so the big boss is coming, that doesn’t mean that any of us are being cut today.  Of course, it doesn’t mean that we aren’t. *laughs*  LORD, I know a layoff is inevitable so, I don’t want to take it lightly; but obsessing over it isn’t doing any of us any good.

And that dream about the elevator this morning. What was that all about?  Although I am not worried about losing my job, as cocky as that may sound, I am still concerned.  Which is what played out in the dream.  I know You have my back, Father, no matter the outcome.  Maybe I’m more concerned about my coworkers.  Can I have survivors’ remorse before I become a survivor?

And why didn’t the elevator go anywhere? I mean, it did but it was the wrong floor.  So I never found out if I was in the group getting fired or not!  Who were those goons supposed to represent?  Does seeing my reflection hold any value? 

Peace, LORD.  Peace for me and everyone in my office. 

To those who are called, sanctified by God the Father, and preserved in Jesus Christ:

² Mercy, peace, and love be multiplied to you.

³ Beloved, while I was very diligent to write to you concerning our common salvation, I found it necessary to write to you exhorting you to contend earnestly for the faith which was once for all delivered to the saints. ⁴ For certain men have crept in unnoticed, who long ago were marked out for this condemnation, ungodly men, who turn the grace of our God into lewdness and deny the only Lord God and our Lord Jesus Christ.

⁵ But I want to remind you, though you once knew this, that the Lord, having saved the people out of the land of Egypt, afterward destroyed those who did not believe. ⁶ And the angels who did not keep their proper domain, but left their own abode, He has reserved in everlasting chains under darkness for the judgment of the great day; ⁷ as Sodom and Gomorrah, and the cities around them in a similar manner to these, having given themselves over to sexual immorality and gone after strange flesh, are set forth as an example, suffering the vengeance of eternal fire.
⁸ Likewise also these dreamers defile the flesh, reject authority, and speak evil of dignitaries. ⁹ Yet Michael the archangel, in contending with the devil, when he disputed about the body of Moses, dared not bring against him a reviling accusation, but said, “The Lord rebuke you!” ¹⁰ But these speak evil of whatever they do not know; and whatever they know naturally, like brute beasts, in these things they corrupt themselves. ¹¹ Woe to them! For they have gone in the way of Cain, have run greedily in the error of Balaam for profit, and perished in the rebellion of Korah.

¹² These are spots in your love feasts, while they feast with you without fear, serving only themselves. They are clouds without water, carried about by the winds; late autumn trees without fruit, twice dead, pulled up by the roots; ¹³ raging waves of the sea, foaming up their own shame; wandering stars for whom is reserved the blackness of darkness forever.
¹⁴ Now Enoch, the seventh from Adam, prophesied about these men also, saying, “Behold, the Lord comes with ten thousands of His saints, ¹⁵ to execute judgment on all, to convict all who are ungodly among them of all their ungodly deeds which they have committed in an ungodly way, and of all the harsh things which ungodly sinners have spoken against Him.”

¹⁶ These are grumblers, complainers, walking according to their own lusts; and they mouth great swelling words, flattering people to gain advantage. ¹⁷ But you, beloved, remember the words which were spoken before by the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ: ¹⁸ how they told you that there would be mockers in the last time who would walk according to their own ungodly lusts. ¹⁹ These are sensual persons, who cause divisions, not having the Spirit.

²⁰ But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, ²¹ keep yourselves in the love of God, looking for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ unto eternal life.
²² And on some have compassion, making a distinction; ²³ but others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire, hating even the garment defiled by the flesh.

²⁴ Now to Him who is able to keep you from stumbling,
And to present you faultless
Before the presence of His glory with exceeding joy,
²⁵ To God our Savior,
Who alone is wise,
Be glory and majesty,
Dominion and power,
Both now and forever.
Amen.

Jude 1 (New King James Version)

Upon one Sabbath day, as the Saviour and His disciples returned from the place of worship, they passed through a field of ripening grain. Jesus had continued His work to a late hour, and while passing through the fields, the disciples began to gather the heads of grain, and to eat the kernels after rubbing them in their hands. On any other day this act would have excited no comment, for one passing through a field of grain, an orchard, or a vineyard, was at liberty to gather what he desired to eat. See Deut. 23:24, 25. But to do this on the Sabbath was held to be an act of desecration. Not only was the gathering of the grain a kind of reaping, but the rubbing of it in the hands was a kind of threshing. Thus, in the opinion of the rabbis, there was a double offense.

The spies at once complained to Jesus, saying, “Behold, Thy disciples do that which is not lawful to do upon the Sabbath day.”

When accused of Sabbathbreaking at Bethesda, Jesus defended Himself by affirming His Sonship to God, and declaring that He worked in harmony with the Father. Now that the disciples are attacked, He cites His accusers to examples from the Old Testament, acts performed on the Sabbath by those who were in the service of God.

The Jewish teachers prided themselves on their knowledge of the Scriptures, and in the Saviour’s answer there was an implied rebuke for their ignorance of the Sacred Writings. “Have ye not read so much as this,” He said, “what David did, when himself was an hungered, and they which were with him; how he went into the house of God, and did take and eat the shewbread, . . . which it is not lawful to eat but for the priests alone?” “And He said unto them, The Sabbath was made for man, and not man for the Sabbath.” “Have ye not read in the law, how that on the Sabbath days the priests in the temple profane the Sabbath, and are blameless? But I say unto you, That in this place is one greater than the temple.” “The Son of man is Lord also of the Sabbath.” Luke 6:3, 4; Mark 2:27, 28; Matt. 12:5, 6.

If it was right for David to satisfy his hunger by eating of the bread that had been set apart to a holy use, then it was right for the disciples to supply their need by plucking the grain upon the sacred hours of the Sabbath. Again, the priests in the temple performed greater labor on the Sabbath than upon other days. The same labor in secular business would be sinful; but the work of the priests was in the service of God. They were performing those rites that pointed to the redeeming power of Christ, and their labor was in harmony with the object of the Sabbath. But now Christ Himself had come. The disciples, in doing the work of Christ, were engaged in God’s service, and that which was necessary for the accomplishment of this work it was right to do on the Sabbath day.

Christ would teach His disciples and His enemies that the service of God is first of all. The object of God’s work in this world is the redemption of man; therefore that which is necessary to be done on the Sabbath in the accomplishment of this work is in accord with the Sabbath law. Jesus then crowned His argument by declaring Himself the “Lord of the Sabbath,”–One above all question and above all law. This infinite Judge acquits the disciples of blame, appealing to the very statutes they are accused of violating.

Jesus did not let the matter pass with administering a rebuke to His enemies. He declared that in their blindness they had mistaken the object of the Sabbath. He said, “If ye had known what this meaneth, I will have mercy, and not sacrifice, ye would not have condemned the guiltless.” Matt. 12:7. Their many heartless rites could not supply the lack of that truthful integrity and tender love which will ever characterize the true worshiper of God.

Again Christ reiterated the truth that the sacrifices were in themselves of no value. They were a means, and not an end. Their object was to direct men to the Saviour, and thus to bring them into harmony with God. It is the service of love that God values. When this is lacking, the mere round of ceremony is an offense to Him. So with the Sabbath. It was designed to bring men into communion with God; but when the mind was absorbed with wearisome rites, the object of the Sabbath was thwarted. Its mere outward observance was a mockery.

Upon another Sabbath, as Jesus entered a synagogue, He saw there a man who had a withered hand. The Pharisees watched Him, eager to see what He would do. The Saviour well knew that in healing on the Sabbath He would be regarded as a transgressor, but He did not hesitate to break down the wall of traditional requirements that barricaded the Sabbath. Jesus bade the afflicted man stand forth, and then asked, “It is lawful to do good on the Sabbath days, or to do evil? to save life, or to kill?” It was a maxim among the Jews that a failure to do good, when one had opportunity, was to do evil; to neglect to save life was to kill. Thus Jesus met the rabbis on their own ground. “But they held their peace. And when He had looked round about on them with anger, being grieved for the hardness of their hearts, He saith unto the man, Stretch forth thine hand. And he stretched it out: and his hand was restored whole as the other.” Mark 3:4, 5.

When questioned, “Is it lawful to heal on the Sabbath days?” Jesus answered, “What man shall there be among you, that shall have one sheep, and if it fall into a pit on the Sabbath day, will he not lay hold on it, and lift it out? How much then is a man better than a sheep? Wherefore it is lawful to do well on the Sabbath days.” Matt. 12:10-12.

The spies dared not answer Christ in the presence of the multitude, for fear of involving themselves in difficulty. They knew that He had spoken the truth. Rather than violate their traditions, they would leave a man to suffer, while they would relieve a brute because of the loss to the owner if it were neglected. Thus greater care was shown for a dumb animal than for man, who is made in the image of God. This illustrates the working of all false religions. They originate in man’s desire to exalt himself above God, but they result in degrading man below the brute. Every religion that wars against the sovereignty of God defrauds man of the glory which was his at the creation, and which is to be restored to him in Christ. Every false religion teaches its adherents to be careless of human needs, sufferings, and rights. The gospel places a high value upon humanity as the purchase of the blood of Christ, and it teaches a tender regard for the wants and woes of man. The Lord says, “I will make a man more precious than fine gold; even a man than the golden wedge of Ophir.” Isa. 13:12.

-An Excerpt taken from chapter 29 of The Desire of Ages by Ellen G. White-

Image by Eelke de Blouw via Flickr

Satan is going to try to play me weak.

Could there have been a better way of handling things?  Probably, from both parties.  You know I’m definitely not saying that I’m innocent in this whole ordeal. I’m so sick of making the wrong step, LORD.  I’m sick of having to apologize. I’m sick of having to “clean up” my mess, or worse yet ask You to because I don’t know where to begin.

Maybe there is some validity in the stream of thought to ask Your advice in all I do.  It sounds so fanatical, yet I can see how beneficial it would be.  Please don’t allow my ignorance, selfishness, and lack of judgment smear Your good name.  I don’t need to give people factual evidence to support how whack I am as a believer. *laughs*

You know my heart, Father, better than I ever can.  I thirst for You.  Make me more like You.

So, LORD, give Matt Chandler in Dallas, TX Your peace. He says he’s full. Please make sure he is. That dude is young, Father. I know disease doesn’t discriminate, but dang. To have a “mass” in your frontal lobe during the prime of your life, with a beautiful wife and young children. 

Hear my prayer, LORD, please incline Your ears to me. Don’t just stand on the sidelines watching the procedures, be there for him. Don’t just sit next to Lauren, LORD, hold her as You comfort her. Pick up the children and let them know You’re there. Ease the minds of the congregation You’ve placed in his care, and whisper a word of encouragement to those that are praying for their pastor.

Finally, Father, Matt isn’t alone today. There are others prepping for surgery, in the middle of it, and recuperating from it. Do what You do best and love on them. And in case You have decided that now is the time for any of the mentioned to rest, lovingly remind their families and friends that You give and You take away. Blessed be the name of the LORD.

Lord,

As much as I want to help out my roommates, I don’t know.  I’m a little lost on this situation.  I want You to help both of them find jobs.  Similarly, I would like both of them to move out.  It feels so selfish to want the house to myself. For what purpose? If this is Your way of teaching me love and patience, I don’t like it. 

Okay, help them both find a job and they can stay longer. When You are ready for them to leave that’s when they’ll go.  In the meantime, show me how to deal with it all.  I miss my space, peace, and quiet. I hope this is a short route on the path to righteousness.

Would You ask me to let them stay even without jobs? They’re grown men, Lord. Can I swap them out for my nephews? I’ll wait on You.